
How to Have a Difficult Conversation About Someone's Appearance
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Understanding Types of Difficult Conversations in the Workplace
How to Prepare for a Difficult Conversation
Workplace Communication Statistics You Should Know
Navigating Difficult Conversations with Empathy
Tips for Having Difficult Conversations about Personal Appearance
Final Thoughts: Effective Conversations Foster Professional Growth
Navigating sensitive topics like someone's appearance can be challenging, especially in professional settings. In a recent episode of The Style for Life Podcast, renowned fashion stylist and accountability coach Stephanie Rumble explores how to effectively manage these delicate situations. Drawing from decades of experience in helping individuals enhance their personal presentation, Stephanie provides valuable insights into navigating difficult conversations in the workplace with empathy, professionalism, and clarity.
Understanding Types of Difficult Conversations in the Workplace
Types of difficult conversations in the workplace frequently involve matters related to personal appearance, hygiene, and attire. Addressing these issues proactively helps maintain professional standards, prevents discomfort, and mitigates potential conflicts. While these topics can be uncomfortable, failing to address them early can negatively affect workplace morale, strain relationships, and even create HR challenges.
Some common concerns include:
Violations of the dress code at work
Issues related to employee body odour
Inappropriate or unprofessional attire

These challenges require careful handling. Early recognition and strategic management by leaders are crucial to prevent escalation. Organisations that prioritise workplace well-being often consider specialised workshops such as those provided by Bright Red Education to effectively manage such delicate situations.
How to Prepare for a Difficult Conversation
Preparation is essential for successfully managing challenging discussions. Clearly identifying your objectives and approach beforehand is vital. Entering a sensitive conversation unprepared may result in misunderstandings or increased tension.
Begin by:
Clearly pinpointing the issue, such as clothing style, fit, or personal hygiene at work.
Thoroughly reviewing your organisation's dress code policy.
Scheduling the discussion privately to maintain the individual's dignity.
"Help the person with solutions. I really encourage you to do this." ~ Stephanie Rumble
Reflecting on the broader implications of the issue for team dynamics and organisational culture can reinforce the importance of addressing the concern. Additionally, prepare potential support resources for the employee to assist them effectively. Professional styling consultations, such as those offered in Bright Red’s personal styling service, can provide practical solutions.
Workplace Communication Statistics You Should Know
Understanding the implications of miscommunication and unresolved conflicts in the workplace is essential. Here are several eye-opening statistics highlighting the importance of addressing difficult conversations proactively:
A survey of 503 New Zealand workers revealed that 68% of Gen Z respondents admitted experiencing miscommunications at work due to email or digital communication tools (source).
Another study found that instead of engaging in a difficult conversation, 11% of respondents quit their job, and 37% considered quitting or accepting another role (source).
In 2022, two in five workers believed they had been subjected to workplace bullying at some point in their careers (source).
11% of the legal community reported experiencing employment discrimination within the last five years, disproportionately impacting women and Pacific peoples (source).

These statistics underscore the need for clear communication strategies and proactive conflict management approaches to cultivate a healthy workplace environment.
Navigating Difficult Conversations with Empathy
When having tough conversations with employees, empathy and respect should guide your interaction. Stephanie Rumble emphasises that your tone and intentions are equally as critical as the actual message.
Directly but gently address the issue.
Cite specific examples without appearing overly critical.
Clearly communicate your intention to support rather than criticise.
"Always speak in private and respect their privacy." ~ Stephanie Rumble
Utilising supportive language helps minimise negative reactions and encourages open communication. For example, acknowledging an employee's strengths or contributions before discussing sensitive topics creates a more constructive atmosphere. Remember, talking to difficult people effectively requires collaboration, not confrontation.
Tips for Having Difficult Conversations about Personal Appearance
Stephanie recommends several practical tips for having difficult conversations about personal appearance. Such feedback is easily perceived as personal criticism, so careful framing is essential.
Clearly communicate how the appearance or hygiene issue conflicts with workplace expectations.
Provide concrete examples based on the company's dress code.
Offer practical solutions such as professional styling consultations or financial support for appropriate clothing.

Framing the conversation around the impact on client impressions and team cohesion, rather than personal criticism, is beneficial. While workplace conversations differ significantly from difficult conversations you might have with a spouse, clarity and goal-oriented dialogue remain essential.
Final Thoughts: Effective Conversations Foster
Professional Growth
Effectively handling difficult conversations about someone's appearance significantly contributes to workplace harmony and individual confidence. Done thoughtfully, these conversations can drive professional growth, alignment, and positive change. Whether managing hygiene concerns or offering constructive style feedback, employing the skills outlined here will ensure productive and compassionate interactions.

Stephanie Rumble’s advice offers an invaluable framework for ensuring conversations are respectful, supportive, and beneficial to both employees and organisational culture. Consider exploring Stephanie’s expertise further through Bright Red’s comprehensive workshops or booking her for your next speaking engagement.
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Frequently Asked Questions
What should I do before having a difficult conversation about someone's appearance?
Before initiating the conversation, clearly identify the specific issue, review your company's dress code or appearance policy, and plan your discussion in a private, respectful setting. Being prepared and knowledgeable about company expectations helps ensure a smooth and productive conversation.
Consider potential solutions or support resources you might offer, such as professional styling advice, to help the individual improve without feeling personally attacked.
How can I address personal hygiene issues sensitively?
Address personal hygiene concerns privately and discreetly, using supportive and empathetic language. Clearly explain why good hygiene is important in the workplace, emphasising mutual comfort and professionalism.
Provide clear, actionable recommendations—such as regular hygiene routines or suitable personal care products. If available, refer to existing policies or guidelines to reinforce your points objectively and professionally.
Is it important to have a company dress code?
Yes, having a clear dress code is essential. It sets professional standards, reduces confusion, and helps maintain a consistent and respectful work environment. Clear guidelines prevent misunderstandings and support employees in knowing exactly what is expected.
Regularly reviewing and updating the dress code helps ensure it remains relevant and inclusive, reflecting both the organisational values and practical workplace needs.
How do I manage resistance during difficult conversations?
If an employee shows resistance, remain calm, empathetic, and focused. Acknowledge their feelings and clarify your intention to support rather than criticise. Provide specific examples to illustrate your concerns without making it feel personal.
Offer practical solutions and encourage open dialogue, allowing the individual to express their perspective and feel involved in finding a positive resolution.
Why do employees avoid difficult conversations?
Employees typically avoid difficult conversations due to fear of conflict, rejection, or negative reactions. They may also lack the confidence or skills required to manage these conversations effectively.
Providing conflict management training, such as Bright Red’s Conflict De-escalation Education, can empower employees with the tools and confidence to approach sensitive topics constructively and professionally.
How do I avoid miscommunication when discussing sensitive topics?
To minimise miscommunication, clearly articulate your points, use supportive language, and ensure you actively listen to the other person's viewpoint. Avoid ambiguous phrases, and confirm understanding by summarising key points during the conversation.
Consider in-person discussions over digital communications for sensitive topics, as face-to-face interaction reduces misunderstandings and enables immediate clarification of any confusion.
What are signs that someone doesn't understand workplace dress standards?
Signs include consistently wearing clothing that doesn’t fit properly, is excessively casual or revealing, or appears unkempt or inappropriate for the professional setting.
The individual might also seem uncomfortable, frequently adjusting their clothes.
If you notice these signs, address them proactively by clarifying your organisation's dress standards and offering support such as professional styling advice or workshops.
Can workplace appearance discussions affect employee confidence?
Yes, conversations about appearance can significantly impact an employee’s self-esteem if not handled correctly. Always approach these discussions with empathy and reassurance, framing feedback positively and constructively.
Ensure the individual knows your intention is to support their professional growth, not to criticise them personally. Offering resources like personalised styling consultations can help rebuild and strengthen confidence.
How can leaders create a supportive environment for difficult conversations?
Leaders can create a supportive environment by fostering open communication, demonstrating empathy, and consistently providing constructive feedback. Encouraging regular dialogues about workplace standards and expectations normalises these conversations.
Offering professional development workshops focused on communication and conflict resolution, such as those provided by Bright Red, helps leaders and employees develop essential skills for navigating sensitive situations.
What is the impact of unresolved workplace conflicts?
Unresolved conflicts can lead to decreased morale, increased stress, and higher employee turnover. They may also affect overall productivity and negatively impact workplace culture and employee relationships.
Proactively addressing and resolving conflicts through clear communication strategies, empathetic leadership, and targeted training can significantly enhance workplace harmony and employee satisfaction.